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on forever if he didn't have to pull out to get rid of the
condom. He bent over the edge of the bed and grabbed
his t-shirt, using it to clean up first Andy, then the lube
from his own hands.
After taking care of his boyfriend, CK lay back down
and snuggled in closely. God, that hard body felt good
next to him.
He had only just closed his eyes when Andy started
laughing. CK looked up, curious.
"It's just -- I'm still wearing socks and a t-shirt." Andy
pointed at himself.
CK couldn't help but giggle; there was something
thoroughly un-sexy about a man in nothing but t-shirt
and socks. Well, if it hadn't been Andy, of course.
"Is that your standard reaction when your sub
safewords? Because then I might have to do it more
often."
Andy was still smiling, but with a shock, CK realized
what he had done. Or rather, not done.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" Jesus, how could he
had been so careless?
"Oh, no, you don't. I said I was fine, and I don't lie."
CK blinked. No, Andy didn't lie, but still...
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"I don't. Period."
CK felt chastened at Andy's tone of voice.
Encouraged, too.
"So, why the... enthusiastic reaction?" Andy had a
crooked smile on his face. He really didn't seem
traumatized in any way. Very sated, yes; traumatized,
no.
CK had to take a deep breath and tell himself that
trust went both ways. If Andy said he was okay, then he
was. And he did look all right.
"You safeworded." It seemed so obvious to CK.
"I know. I had expected a long talk afterward. Well, I
just did it without thinking, but still."
"That's just it. You just did it. Don't you get what that
means?"
Andy was one big question mark. "Not really, no."
"It means that you trust me. And yourself, too,
actually. You trust me to stop and yourself to know
when it's too much, and it means that everything gets
better. Safer. And a lot hotter, of course."
"Safewording is a turn-on for you?" Andy sounded
astounded.
"It's not like that!" CK felt his cheeks burning, and
Andy's grin didn't make it any better. "Okay, maybe it is.
It's just that... You trust me now." He got serious.
"That's huge."
Andy nodded, slowly. "I guess I get that."
"Do you want to tell me why you safeworded?" Even
if CK's first reaction had been less than what the
Leatherman's Handbook recommended, he still wanted
to know.
"It wasn't that serious, as a matter of fact. It just
reminded me of a situation with Bryce, and I didn't want
to relive that, and suddenly, I realized that I didn't have
to. I didn't have to be close to a breakdown to safeword;
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it was just an unpleasant situation that I wanted out of.
And so I did." There was still a little disbelief in Andy's
voice.
"Okay." Andy really didn't sound traumatized. "Was
it anything in particular? I'd like to know so I can work
with it."
There was a twitch around Andy's lips, but he didn't
say anything about CK's last remark. Instead, he
answered the question. "It was the position. I've been
over your knee or standing up the other times, and
suddenly, I couldn't see you, and then that hand on my
back felt like you were holding me down."
"And Bryce used to do that to you?"
Andy shrugged, looking uncomfortable for the first
time in a while. "Yeah. He often tied me up on my
stomach or held me down. He liked the power trip it
gave him." There was anger in Andy's voice now.
"The annoying thing is that I like that position," he
continued. "There were just too many bad memories
coming back to me."
CK pulled him in close. "Don't worry, we'll work
with it. Now I know to let you see me or have you over
my lap. It probably won't even happen again, but if it
does, you just let me know."
"I just might if it gets me laid like that."
CK didn't know if he was supposed to keep on
apologizing or analyze the whole scene step by step. He
had almost decided on the last approach when Andy
spoke again, completely making him forget his plan.
"I've thought about my last scene, by the way."
CK groaned inwardly; the whole Andy as a Dom
experience was another thing he had been supposed to
help Andy through. It was just that there didn't seem to
be much that bothered Andy at the moment.
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"I've thought about it, and I've decided that it was
okay. I'm not going out to pick up subs, but it was okay
to do it, and it was hot. There's nothing wrong with
that." Andy's voice was firm.
"Nothing at all. Are you okay with the fact that you're
a switch?" CK was still Dom enough to zoom in on what
wasn't said as well as what was.
Andy shrugged. "I think so. Or rather, I am, because
it was hot, but I don't want to have scenes on my own,
and I don't want you to, either." He looked slightly
shocked after he said that.
"I didn't plan to." Just the thought of playing with
anyone but Andy seemed deeply wrong to CK. "But let's
make it a deal: no playing around and no scenes with
strangers, except when it's something like last time at the
club."
"Something where we're both present." Andy
seriously took his hand and shook it. Then CK snorted.
"You really have to either undress or get some briefs
on, Mr. Bareass."
Andy goosed him, and the whole thing developed
into a genuine pillow fight. Safewording, sex, and minor
violence: all in all, a perfect evening.
***
CK woke up late the next morning. They had spent
most of the night making love, and now it was past nine.
The bed next to him was empty, which was a shame.
Morning blowjobs were one of his favorite things.
He got out of bed, determined to find out where his
lover was. CK found Andy in the living room, where
Andy was standing, arms crossed, and staring at the
jacket on the floor.
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Tearing his eyes off the body that looked like a Greek
statue, CK walked over to Andy.
"Counting down the seconds until I take it away?"
Andy turned his head to take a kiss. "No, actually.
I'm making my peace with it."
CK must have looked puzzled.
"You see, yesterday, I took it as a challenge at first. I
wanted to show you that I could leave it here. It still
bothered me so much, though, that I had to think of it as
a part of submitting to you. You know, doing it because
you told me to do it."
"Jesus, were you thinking of all that while we had
dinner?"
"Hey, neuroses take a lot of work to uphold." Andy
didn't bat an eyelid. "But then I came out here this
morning, and I realized that that jacket has nothing to do
with me. If you like having it there, then peace be with
it; I don't have to control it. I don't have to hold
everything together." Andy smiled, eyebrows lifted.
"And so, Mr. CK, it seems that your work has borne
fruit."
CK leaned in, kissing Andy soundly.
"Have I been that good?" Andy teased.
It was all very well to loosen up a sub; being teased
wasn't a part of the deal. CK leaned in to kiss Andy
again to prove that point, but Andy just pushed him back
again, laughing.
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