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always wonder where you got to&
The cold of the snow was nothing compared to this empty despair.
What s there to live for? My people are dwindling, and I can t let them know
me without endangering their lives. The woman I love is as far from my reach
as any could be. This is the Age of the Five, and I have no place in it. I
should just&
Stop being so bloody melodramatic, he said aloud.
Closing his eyes, he pulled a great stream of magic into himself, then
channelled it. There was a dull boom. The whiteness above him flew upward and
fragmented to all sides. As it pattered down around him he sat up and looked
at his surroundings.
He now lay in the middle of a large crater. Standing up, he climbed one side
of it and turned back to regard his handiwork. The hole was quite impressive.
He smiled.
Then a shadow streaked past his own and his smile faded. Looking up, he
glimpsed two Siyee gliding away.
Sighing, he turned away and began trudging toward the forest.
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A uraya stopped and looked up at the Altar. The five sides were upright,
closed to the world. Scenes from the day played through her mind.
Mischief had announced her return, somehow slipping out of her room to find
Mairae s veez, Stardust. Soon after, she had been summoned to Juran s room.
Mairae had been there, with both veez.
Why didn t you tell us you had arrived? Juran had asked.
I expected the gods would tell you when I arrived. I was surprised you
weren t there to meet me. She shrugged. It was late and I decided not to
wake anyone.
He had nodded at that. I want you to tell me everything that happened, from
the moment you first discovered Mirar, as Leiard, was in Si.
So she had related everything. It had taken some hours. She was interrupted
from time to time with questions from the other White. Dyara and Rian were
listening through a link to Juran.
When she finally finished, Juran had spoken of the gods punishment and asked
if she was willing to accept it.
For myself, I am, she had told him. But I find it hard to accept that the
Siyee are being punished for my actions.
:You should have thought of the possible consequences to the Siyee before you
disobeyed the gods, Dyara had said.
I would never have guessed the gods would be so, so& would make such a
decision, Auraya answered.
:You still question the gods wisdom, Rian said.
Yes, she replied. He had made several such lofty comments. If the ability
to question was not a requirement of being a White, the gods would not have
chosen me. And it certainly would have reduced the candidates at Choosing
Ceremonies.
Auraya remembered seeing Mairae smile at that, but when Juran had turned in
her direction she had schooled her expression to one of stern disapproval.
That was when I realized they all felt they must behave as if I were a
disgraced child. That they must quash any sympathy they felt, whether for me
or for my decisions.
:Those worthy of serving the gods are few, Rian had said next.
She had winced at that. I know I have been a fool, she thought. I don t regret
it, since the only other option was to be a hypocrite and a murderer. I only
wish being a fool hadn t had such an impact on the Siyee. I would do anything
to make up for that.
Juran had stepped in then, saying that they should endeavor to cooperate and
avoid unnecessary conflict. That matters should return to how they had been
before. Mairae had looked at him with an expression of sadness and pity.
I doubt matters will ever be the way they were before, she had murmured.
Auraya wondered who Mairae had been referring to. Herself, perhaps? Had the
gods decisions caused another White to question? Or was Mairae referring to
all the White? Or just me.
She obviously wasn t referring to the Siyee. Nobody seemed at all concerned
about the sky people. When Juran had finally ushered Auraya from his room, she
had turned back and asked him if he wanted to learn Mirar s healing Gift. He
had shaken his head as if the idea appalled him.
A faint sigh of air drew Auraya s attention back to the Altar. The five sides
were beginning to hinge open. She felt her heart stop, then begin racing.
I am about to take an enormous risk, she thought. I might lose everything. But
as Mairae had said, matters would never be the same. I have already lost a
great deal. If I lose the rest, I ll just have to accept that.
Hurried footsteps echoed in the Dome. She turned to see Juran and Mairae
striding toward her. Turning away, Auraya walked up to the Altar s table and
sat in her chair.
What have you called us here for? Juran demanded as he reached the Altar.
I have a question to ask the gods, she replied, meeting his eyes. One that
you may wish to hear the answer to.
He stared at her, clearly annoyed that she had called a meeting without
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consulting him first. Which is?
You will hear it just as soon as you begin the rite, and the gods appear.
He hesitated, then Mairae put a hand on his shoulder.
Go on. I doubt we ll get it out of her any other way.
Sighing, Juran took his place. Mairae slid gracefully into her chair, her eyes
aglow with curiosity.
You re certainly keeping us entertained, Auraya, she said approvingly, in a
near whisper.
Auraya managed a smile. She looked at Juran expectantly. He sighed again, then
closed his eyes.
Chaia, Huan, Lore, Yranna, Saru, he intoned. Once again, we thank you for
the peace you brought to Northern Ithania and the Gifts that have allowed us
to keep it. We thank you for your wisdom and guidance.
We thank you, Auraya murmured along with Mairae. She concentrated on the
magic around the Altar, but felt no sign of the gods.
Auraya wishes to ask of you a question. If you will allow her an answer,
please appear before us.
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