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. . . with my friends?
. . . with God?
Summarize your perfect life in the next few lines:
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
__________________________________________
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How to Live by Design, Not by Default 39
How did you do? Does your new life look significantly different
than your current life? I bet it does. Now it is time for some honesty.
It is time to look at what you are currently doing to make this life hap-
pen. Here is another list for you to work on. It is a list of things you are
actually doing to make the life you want to come about. If you do not
know where to start, you can answer number one with I am reading
this book and filling out these forms. There. You have the first one.
Now keep going.
What am I doing to make this happen?
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
6. _____________________________________________________
7. _____________________________________________________
8. _____________________________________________________
9. _____________________________________________________
10. _____________________________________________________
11. _____________________________________________________
12. _____________________________________________________
13. _____________________________________________________
14. _____________________________________________________
15. _____________________________________________________
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40 Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life
Okay that is what you say you are doing. And I will bet you the
price of this book you did not get to 15. Very few people are actually
doing even 15 things to create the life they want to live. And I even
gave you the first one! Now let me give you another shot at telling
yourself the truth.
What am I really doing to create the life I want?
1. _____________________________________________________
2. _____________________________________________________
3. _____________________________________________________
4. _____________________________________________________
5. _____________________________________________________
There you go. Did you do better this time? Did you come up
with five things you are really doing? I hope so. Soon you will be
able to fill the first list too. As you start creating the life you want
with just a few action steps, you will find that things get easier for
you. You will start to focus more and more on creating the life you
want until you reach the point where you are obsessed with living
the life most only dream of. You will actually find yourself becom-
ing the list you made. You will look in the mirror and see yourself in
the clothes you want to wear, with the jewelry you want to wear,
weighing what you want to weigh. You will go to your garage and
get in the car you want to drive and go to the restaurant where you
really want to go. You will enjoy your relationships and have plenty
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How to Live by Design, Not by Default 41
of time to relax and enjoy your life. In other words, you will be cre-
ating the life you want.
A word of caution: The life you want comes at a price. Everything
comes at a price. Nothing is free. No matter what it is in life you
choose, there will be a price tag attached.
Want to be fit, trim, and healthy? The price tag is decreased calo-
ries and increased exercise.
Want to be rich? You either have to work harder, longer, or
smarter probably all three. There will not be as much time for
television. There will not be as much time for golf. Wealth has
its price.
Want to be successful? The price tag is pretty expensive, as you
are about to find out.
Want to be happy? Then you have to give up everything that
makes you unhappy.
And what if you do not want anything? That comes at a price, too.
The price is usually poverty, sickness, boredom, apathy, mediocrity,
bad relationships, and on and on and on.
The reality of life is that you will pay a price, one way or the
other. One price gives you exactly what you want. The other gives
you exactly what you do not want. Either way, you have paid
the price.
The good news is that the life you want comes cheaper than the
life you do not want. The life you do not want makes you miserable,
unhealthy, and broke. To me, that is too big a price to pay. It is
cheaper to be happy, healthy, and rich. However, only you can
choose what to pay.
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CHAPTER 5
Slaughtering
the Sacred
Self-Help Cows
You have just spent some time thinking about the life you want.
Hopefully you now have a picture of the kind of life you want to lead.
You even wrote it down probably for the very first time in your life.
You say you are willing to pay the price. Congratulate yourself! You
are now further along than almost any other person on the planet.
Very few people have ever made it as far as you just have.
So let us get real about making the life you have designed really
happen for you. Let us look at all the areas of life each of us deals with
and discover how to move through them and past them to actually get
the life you want.
This is where you probably think I am going to address all of the
typical self-help stuff like setting and achieving goals, being positive,
and that sort of motivational mumbo-jumbo. No. I am going to give
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